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HENRI NELIS - Valedictory  Speech 2011

If you asked someone from overseas to think of the typical Kiwi male, what would they think of? Would black singlets, stubbies and gumboots come to mind? Would they think of a farming bloke, who takes pride in his tractor and cattle? Would they think of a man whose first word, first sport, and first love was rugby? Or would they think of a man who was four feet tall, with hairy feet and lives in the Shire with Bilbo Baggins? I can tell you, with a fair amount of certainty that stubbies don't agree with my legs, I've never driven a tractor, rugby has never been my love, and I'm certainly not four feet tall.  Just because I don't fit into what instantly comes to mind when you think of a New Zealander, that doesn't mean I'm not one. It would be a ridiculous thought if we expected everyone to fit into this mould. The same template for every New Zealander? Ha! I don't think so...

What if: I asked you what you thought about a College Captain. Would you think of a man whose chiselled physique propels him to the top of his chosen sport, and the captain of his team? Would you think of a man whose mental fitness allows him to complete a su-do-ku in one hand and a Rubik's Cube in the other? Now, as you all know, my "chiselled physique" is clearly lacking, although, not meaning to brag, but I am in the school's First IV badminton team. And as for su-do-ku's? Well let's just say that I still find word-finds quite difficult. Just because I don't have these traits you think of, does that mean that I'm not a proper College Captain? Over the course of my life, I have come to realise that you come across things that you just weren't expecting.

That brings me to my next point, what were people expecting? Like a lot of things in this world, the media has played a large part in influencing how we perceive things. Everything shown to us via the T.V. or the internet is going to affect the way we view things in some part of our lives. We expect things of people based on superficial judgements of the position they fill, almost like stereotyping. You think basketball player; you think tall. You think lawn bowls participant; you think granddad. You think Lumberjack; you think chequered shirt and a beard full of food left there from past meals. It is natural for us to just generalise people's characteristics to fit roles, because this is what we've seen countless times on television.

Our personal experiences also influence how we see people. For instance, when I was four, my mum was a Traffic Cop working for the Ministry of Transport, and my Uncle was a Cop working for the Police Force. When mum would pop into home halfway through her shift for a coffee, it was always her and her friend (another female traffic cop). So they'd be sitting around the table having a coffee with their police car in the driveway with several cuffed, pepper sprayed convicts in the back seat after being nabbed for various traffic violations. It was my view that Traffic Cops were women, and Policemen were, well, police - men. In my mind, that's how it was.

I can think of an example where you would've built up an image in your mind. I need you to think back to your first day at St Thomas'. You were twelve inches shorter; your attitude was twelve times less; and your voices twelve octaves higher. You came from primary and intermediate schools where everything was different. All of the classes were done in the same room, with the same teacher. Very little work was done practically and you ruled the roost as far as age was concerned. I bet on your first day it wasn't quite what you were expecting.

You can argue that you've been to the open days and you know what the school would be like, or you had brothers that had told you about it, but in truth, nothing can prepare you for your first day. You didn't know what a first XV was, you'd never met a boy at your school with facial hair, and you'd never seen a "skuxx" kid before. I know I wasn't used to having male teachers, having a tuck-shop with decent food, or, having a female principal!

Now I doubt any of you remember what you thought school would be like, but I'd say there would've been a picture in your head, of like Hogwarts or something. Everyone has built up an image in their mind of what they expect something to be like, it is natural to wonder and give things fore - thought. But just because it wasn't the Hogwarts you were expecting, you didn't sulk about it, you got used to it. And here you are, end of the year. Some of us even, the end of our final year.

I stand before you as an abnormal person. I'm not quite like other people. I'm not a fan of rugby, I don't mind speeches and I have to duck for doorways. For years I thought that my abnormalities were bad. Since I wasn't like other people I was wrong. I didn't fit the mould. I began to relate the negative connotations of abnormal to myself. I never thought that I'd become College Captain because I just didn't fit the mould. What I realised is that I'm not wrong, so much as different. Well, here I am; Different, Abnormal, College Captain. I can tell you that this is something that I wasn't expecting.

So you're probably wondering now, then why am I College Captain? I am College Captain because the teaching staff saw in me the attributes of the St Thomas' man. You may not see these attributes within yourself to begin with, but once you are shown the light, you cannot un-see it.

I've been where you are sitting before. For six years in a row in fact. Each one of those years I was thinking the same thing: "I'm not like him", "I can't do what he does". I thought that because I was different to other people, that I wasn't able to be a leader. If you are to take anything from my speech is that being different doesn't matter. I am proof of that. It doesn't matter if you don't play sport. It doesn't matter if you do. It doesn't matter what your hobbies are, or what your favourite subject is. Without trying to make this sound clichéd, it doesn't matter how normal or abnormal you are, if you have to want to do it, you can.

If we Cantabrians know anything from the past year is that sometimes things happen that are totally out of the blue. What have we had in the past year? Earthquakes, site sharing, snow. We pulled together and came through it. This shows us that life gives us things we don't expect, but we deal with them anyway.

The point that I've been trying to illustrate, is that there is no set mould for a person. How boring would it be if we were all the same? No variation, no differences, only everything in common. There is no "true kiwi", but New Zealanders do have things in common, as do College Captains and leaders alike. But there is no need to attempt to conform to expectations of people or to feel down because you aren't what someone was expecting. Everyone is different. So if you are sitting out there in the audience, and like me, are abnormal, enjoy it. You never know, it might take you somewhere someday, somewhere you just weren't expecting.

I'll finish on a quote from a wise man. A man whose books I've enjoyed many a time.

Cheers Dr Seuss

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose

You're on your own

And you know what you know

You are the guy who'll decide where to go.